YAKin

SO I got a new kayak for Christmas! My first time taking it out was a mixed bag. The good parts were kayaking with friends, knowing I had the only pink Kayak in the group, enjoying the nice weather, learning something new. The less than good parts were forgetting to set the location of my foot pegs before I took off, not having a spray skirt so I got a little damp and cold, and the unfamiliarity with my new craft. Overall, I am so excited to take her out more and to become more confident. I am getting a spray skirt and some NRS boundary shoes that will keep my feet warm and dry when I have to stand in winter water to launch my boat. So excited!

First time certified diver

When Angela and I went to Australia a few years ago, we sailed out on a sail boat and went diving. It wasn't a "real" dive, since we had to hold the instructor's hand the whole time BUT we were at the at the great barrier reef, a place we may never return to so we had to try it. I was nervous to be underwater... a bit claustrophobic and panicky but I managed to overcome it for our 30 minute diving experience. Ever since then, I have wanted to become certified in diving. I wasn't sure I would ever do it. Sometimes I have pipe dreams that tend to stay just that.
But when we got the grant to Mexico, Angela and I were determined to spend part of that three weeks diving. We had initially planned to get certified IN Mexico, but upon further research, decided to get the certification part out of the way before we got on vacation. For one, it was a little cheaper here in Tulsa, for another, we heard horror stories of people getting certified in Mexico and coming back traumatized.
Angela did some research and signed us up for certification at Dive Tulsa. Not only that, she managed to fit it into our Funds for Teachers Grant so it wouldn't cost us anything! Part of the point to our grant was to broaden our horizons, push our comfort zones. Scuba diving fit right into that !
So Dive Tulsa gave us a video to watch, a book to read, some homework to complete. We then attended several hours of classroom instruction and took tests. We spend a Sunday in a pool and then headed to Beaver Lake Arkansas. For a lake, Beaver Lake is pretty clear. We spend the day practicing what we had learned... flooding and clearing our masks, buoancy, tired diver towing, emergency ascents, etc. I saw some pretty cool fish in the lake. More colorful than I expected.
AFter two days of diving, we were finally certified! I can't wait to get to Mexico to try it out.
It was really a rush to come away from that dive site as a certified diver. While I was diving, I didn't think about the house I was trying to sell or the one I was trying to buy. I didn't worry about Olivia's financial aid, Catt living on her own with a baby, Tommy heading overseas, Nathan graduating high school... nothing. I just DOVE. it's like underwater meditation. you have to stay focused for your safety and the safety of your buddy. But you also just seem to really live in the moment. Also, as I left I just LIKED myself more. I didnt' care that I am 44 and getting wrinkles. I didnt' care that I still had many pounds to lose before my stupid WII fit stops saying "that's overweight." I just liked myself. I was proud and confident and strong. I like Diver Nisi a lot.

-Nisi, first time certified diver

First time laser hair removal

So the waxing just wasn't enough. I loved the result but to have to keep growing it out long enough then paying to have it ripped back out wasn't going to work for me. So I decided to look into laser hair removal. The first big shock was how expensive it was! To get a brazilian treatment - all hair front to back removed - was like 4,000. Fortunately, they were having a holiday special so I got a half price deal. I financed 2,000 for 18 months. I go in every 10 weeks to have the area treated then all hair will be gone for good!

I had my first treatment about 7 weeks ago. The laster beam itself is a hot but it is delivered simultaneously with a burst of cool air so it sorta fools the senses. The whole procedure took about 10 minutes and was only mildly uncomfortable at times. I had to wear special sunglasses to protect my eyes in case she missed my pubes and hit my eye. Since the treatment, very little hair has grown back at all. And I have had no ingrown hairs, bumps or razor burn. I am so excited to be going to the beach this summer - 4 weeks worth of beach between my two different trips - and not have to worry about shaving or ugly bumps!

It is expensive, but so far, I would say that the laser hair removal at Ideal Image in Tulsa is a great way to go and is worth every penny,

-Denise, First time laser patient

First Time Hooters Customer

I've never wanted to go to Hooters. I offer no jugement of those who do. It just didn't appeal to me. This week, however, my friend Jade is visiting from Australia. She was looking for some "American" things to do and blog about while she is here. Since the poor thing is stuck in Oklahoma for most of her trip, I thought the least I could do was oblige her with a trip to Hooters. Hooters is seen in various movies and referenced on television, apparently. It is a very "American" thing so off we went. Jade, Angela and I went for lunch on Monday. Upon entering I observed that there was only one other woman customer in the place and she was with several men. No one seemed to pay us any particular attention, however, so I didn't feel too awkward. The women (some older than I had pictured) wore the infamous tight orange shorts and tight t-shirts. As I caught my self looking I felt guilty. I then wondered aloud, "is it rude to stare here or rude to NOT stare?" We werent' sure. We perused the limited menu and decided to order some hot wings, which they are apparently known for. The waitress, Michelle, thoroughly explained the different types of wing sauces and even put in a special order for us to try a few of the hotter ones that we were afraid to order. Jade asked me if I thought Michelle would pose with her for a picture. I asked Michelle if she would do this favor for us and Jade quickly assured her "it's not weird or anything." That made Michelle laugh and caused her to bring over several more waitresses to pose with my Aussie friend. Michelle also gave us a thorough lesson in deboning chicken wings and thighs. I haven't really eaten many hot wings before so this lesson was quite helpful. We observed that the waitresses sat and visited with the customers more frequently than you would see in other restaurants. One odd thing I noticed was the bathroom doors. The women's bathroom door sign read "All Women." The men's room read "Most Men." We weren't sure what that meant and were afraid to ask. Overall the visit was uneventful and pleasant. I am not a huge wing fan so I'm not sure if they were average wings or above average but they were ok. I think my favorite part was the back of the waitresses shirt. They read "Delightfully tacky yet unrefined." I thought that summed it up well.
-Nisi, First time Hooters customer

First time runner

I have always hated running. My father once had dreams of being an olympic track star. His children paid for this unfulfilled dream. At 4:00 am on school days, he would wake us up and take us to the high school track. I was 9 at the time. He had a regimented program of how many miles we were to run each day. He trained us as his marine corps background would suggest... with insults, high expectations and lots of curse words. It is not surprising that I hated running. To be perfectly honest, however, I would probably have hated running anyway. I have never been a big fan of exercise in general.

In September of this year, however, a colleague unwittingly set a series of events in motion that would change my opinion. Mary sent out a group email stating that she was going to join Fleet Feet's No Boundaries training program. They, apparently, had a program for beginners called the Couch to 5K. Mary was looking for someone to accompany her on the running adventure. I must have been drunk at work that day or something because I told her that I would attend the orientation meeting with her and would consider it. I knew I needed to start exercising more regularly. I was overweight, my cholesterol was high and hiking just isn't as much fun when your ass is weighing you down. So off we went to the No Boundaries orientation meeting. Quite a few people crowded the small store that night as we watched a power point that included pictures from other races and got the basic information. It would cost me $75.00 to join. For this I would attend training two days a week, be assigned a coach who would contact me and stay in touch throughout the training and attend several informative meetings. All of this training would culminate in running the 5k portion of the Route 66 marathon. I wrote my check that very night, as did Mary. We were committed.

We started running a few weeks later. The first night almost killed me. We ran for one minute and walked for three, in a series of intervals until we had completed just over two miles. I was exhausted at the end and realized that I still hated running. A day or so later, I received an email from Mary. She would not be returning to the program with me. Her doctor forbade it due to a tendon injury, or something equally crippling. Great. Now I was in this alone. Still, I returned to the next training day and continued to return for a few more weeks. I quicky discovered, however, that I did not really like the group dynamic. The chatty women and setting my pace to match theirs didn't appeal to me. I was determined, however, to run that 5k. So I talked to coach Jack and arranged to do my training on my own, while keeping up with what the group was doing. I made a running playlist for my ipod and faithfully ran 3 days per week. At one point, I discovered that I was actually looking forward to going to run after work. This was very strange for me and I assumed it was a side effect of the flu that I had just gotten over.

Today, I got up at 6:00 am on a Sunday. I dressed in my No Boundaries running shirt, pinned on my number, attached the timing chip to my shoe and headed downtown before the sun came up. It was chilly and my muscles did not want to run. When the gun sounded I took off with the group, making sure to set my OWN pace, as Coach Jack had advised. He had also advised me to train on hills... I had ignored this advice. I wished I hadn't. Half the course was uphill. I had to walk on parts because my calves were burning. I made up for it though, by running harder once I leveled out. By the time I could see the finish line, I was having a hard time getting a full breath. My heart was pounding. I fell in line behind No Boundaries coach and matched my pace to hers. I set my ipod on my favorite running song and just focused on making it to the finishline. I did it! I ran 5k in about 42 minutes. Once my heart rate slowed I noticed a feeling of euphoria settling over me. So THIS was that runners high everyone talked about. I loved it! I am hooked.

Now, my legs are sore and I have a bit of a headache. I have told my 5k story to anyone who will listen - like I survived a great war or something. I also signed up for a race a few weeks from now. Of course I did... I am a runner.

-Nisi, First Time Runner

First time angel

This is something I wrote a while back. But I thought it was fitting as a "first" hope you enjoy....


So, today I spent the evening with my new Little Sister, Marisha.We had an awesome time strolling around the mall, eating corndogs and mall cookies, shopping for "Big Sister" and "Little Sister" jewelry. After I dropped her off, I headed down the street of her neighborhood, near Cincinnatti and Apache. While I'm driving, I see a woman half lying on the curb. She is african american, around 50, somewhat overweight, on crutches and wearing a purple cast. I look at her she kinda waves at me so I slow down. She then glares at me as if to say,
"What the fuck are you looking at bitch?" I, of course, don't want her to think that I was staring for any bad reason, so I role down the window and say, "Do you need some help?" She looks startles and slurs, "Can you take me home?" I pause for a second and then answer, "Sure I can, where do you live?" She tells me that she lives in some apartments nearby. I say ok, get in. Then she says, well, you're going to have to come help me." So I get out, leavign the car in the middle of the street and walk over to her. Now, I am thinking, ok...... Is this one of those stupid things people do and then end up being robbed, car jacked or whatever? I decide that if it is I'll just have to deal with it because I'm now committed to helping this woman get home. I go over to her and she wreaks of beer. She is drinking one and has a small black trash sack with several more on the ground behind her. She is quite drunk and has a hard time focusing her eyes on me. I start trying to help her up, but it wasn't going to be easy. I'd get her part way up and she would stagger and fall back over. Finally, I let her use one crutch and I pulled her to her feet ( After I convinced her to let me put the beer on the ground next to her). I gave her the other crutch and ran to pick up my car keys where I had dropped them on the ground. She told me to be sure to get her beer too. I turn back to her just in time to see her crashing, forehead first, to the street, never letting go of her crutches. She rolled over onto her back and looked up at me and said....
"Well now."
I laughed and said, let's try again ok?
We rolled her over and left the crutches on the ground. I finally got her up and very , very slowly walked her across the road to get in my car. It wasn't far to go, but it definately felt like it.
After I got her settled I ran back for the crutches and beer.
When I got in next to her she looked at me and said, "You're gonna gimme my beer back ain'tcha?" I assured that that I would.
She then kept staring at me. I said, what's your name and she said, "Tanna."
Me: Hi Tanna, I'm Denise.
Tanna: I don't know you.
Me: No ma'am you don't know me, I'm just helping you get home, now which way?
Tanna: (Motioning me which way to go) Now, I should finish this here beer before we go. (she guzzles the beer and tosses the can out the window, I resist the urge to run pick it up)
Me: Ok, now let's get you buckled up ( always the girl scout)
Tanna: I can't do that, can you help me?
Me: Sure,( I lift her hip to get her buckled in)
Tanna: What's your name again?
Me: Denise
Tanna: OH Miss Denise! You dont' even know me but you just stopped to help me!
Me: Yes ma'am I did.
Tanna: Why did you do that?
Me: Well, that's just what the world is about. We all help each other.
Tanna: What's your name ?
Me: Denise
Tanna: Oh miss denise! You are my guardian angel! (she begins to cry)
Me: (laughing) well, maybe I am miss tana. I'm pleased to meet you and glad I could help you out. It's my pleasure
Tanna: I mean it Miss Denise! I think we met for a reason. You don't even know me! You just saw someone needing help and you helped me! (crying harder)
Me: (following her motions on which way to go to her apartment - a good 6 blocks away) Well, I'm just glad I drove down that rode today Miss Tana
Tanna: You don't know me and you touched me! You are my guardian angel!
Me: (starting to feel like a guardian angel) well maybe we were meant to meet. Do you have any children?
Tanna: (staring at me through tears - and drunken haze) Oh.... they killed my boy! Last August! They did! Just ran him down like a dog in the street!
Me: Oh no! Who did?
Tanna: I don't know Miss Denise. The police said it was gang violence but I don't believe it. What do you think Miss Denise?
Me: I think I mama knows her kid better than any police to Miss Tanna.
Tanna: OH you are my guardian angel! I think we were supposed to meet today.Why? Why?
Me: Well, I think I'm supposed to tell you that you have important things left to do in this life. You need to take better care of yourself. You are important enough to take care of. And then, you can help a stranger some day just like I helped you.
Tanna: Oh miss Denise, Miss Denise! I love you ! I love you!
Me: I love you too Miss Tanna, now let's get you out of the car and to you apartment.
Tanna: Can I have my beer?
Me: yes of course, and your crutches.
We hugged and she kissed my cheeks while the tears were pouring down hers. She then checked the money in her bra to make sure I hadn't taken it from her and, using her crutches, very slowly made her way to her aparment, clutching her bag of beer against one crutch.The dozens of people around us glanced at us occasionally, as I'm sure we were an odd pair. Before I drove away she said, " I live in apartment 2131." I said, well maybe I'll come see you sometime.
And maybe I will. I guess that's what a guardian angel would do.

-Denise, First Time Angel

First Brazilian Wax

So.... I'm sitting at my computer in mild discomfort. Today's first was not really a pleasant experience. I finally got up the nerve to get my first ever Brazilian Bikini Wax! For those who aren't familiar with this tortuous spa treatment, I shall explain. It is a method of removing all of that unsightly hair from your bikini region. My friend Abby (sorry Abby, I'm blogging about your crotch....) was the first to tell me about it. She claimed to love the baby smooth skin in her netheregions that came as a result of having all her hair waxed off. I started looking into this process at the beginning of this summer. "Maybe it would be the perfect thing to do before we go to the beach?" So, in true Denise First Timer fashion I began to research. I found that a Brazilian wax is not cheap. The average cost is $60.00. This is more than I spend shaving for sure. I mean, even with buying the expensive razors that I do and changing the blade often, this hair pulling spa treatment was going to get expensive if it became a habit. I also had some misgivings about walking in a spreading my legs for some beauty school dropout and saying, "Let it rip Mitzy!" And of course... last but no least of my concerns... the PAIN! I am not a fan of pain. The phrase "no pain, no gain" has been source of scourn for my whole life. Apparently, when you get Brazilian waxed, they don't just take off a little hair from the sides... they take everything (with an option of leaving a "landing strip" on top) The hair from your lips (vulva, labia majora, vertical smile.. whatever, you know what i mean), between your butt cheeks and everything in between. Surely to goddess this has to hurt? Recently, however, I got brave and decided to take the plunge and just give it a shot. I began researching Brazilian Bikini waxers on the internet. Now, not so surprisingly, there are not hundreds of them to choose from in Tulsa. Most people in the bible belt like to keep their private parts covered with as many layers of clothing, hair and prayer cloths as they can. I did, however, find several to choose from. The thing is... how do you choose a good Brazilian waxer? I found some good websites but since it wasn't a webpage designer I was going to entrust my precious parts to, I didn't think this was the best way to choose.... but really what choice did I have? So my first choice was a beautiful black webpage layout with pretty pink flowers floating on it. Seemed fitting... pink flowers... feminine, sexy, soft... definately no pain implied. I called and emailed this establishment several times before I got in touch with someone. Finally they told me they were booked for weeks. This is a problem. In my research I have found that you need to grow you hair out to at least a quarter of an inch before it can be waxed... other places advised a half inch. Since reading this tidbit I had been growing out my hair. I now boasted what I affectionately called my "hippy twat." It would have fit in nicely on the set of "Taking Woodstock," but I didnt' think I should keep growing it for 3 more weeks.... I'd soon have to braid it to keep in manageable. After perusing a few more websites I finally settled on a second choice and made the phone call. I left a message that I was a first time Brazilian bikini customer and was looking for someoen who had an appointment the following week. (I am not sure why I felt I needed to confess that I had never been waxed before.... some sort of First timer confession I guess) She friendly waxer soon called me back. Her name was Emily and she had an opening that would fit my schedule. Quickly, however, we deduced that her credit card machine was not yet set up in her new place of business so I would have to pay cash. Well, i didn't have cash for waxing my va-jay-jay. So I hung up with Emily and began searching again. Within a few minutes, however, Emily called me back. She was so concerned that I would go to a "bad waxer" that she decided to use her boyfriend's record store card reader ( located right next door to her waxing business). I was glad that she called me back but more concerned than ever... what would happen if a bad waxer got ahold of me? hmmm.... more research... apparently New Jersey is trying to ban bikini waxing because it is dangerous...blah blah blah - i didn't want to know the rest. I was determined to go through with this! As my appointment drew nearer many of my friend looked at me in horror when I told them what I was scheduled to experience at 5:00 on Tuesday.... finally the day arrived. Today.
I arrived early to my appointment. Emily said that was no problem and she quickly prepared the room. When she called me back she pointed out the wipes, with which I was to clean myself, and the oil for helping remove leftover wax after she was done. She then left the room. I was to take off my clothes from the waist down and sit on a small hand towel on the bed. I covered my top region, between my hips, with another small hand towel. This really was pointless though, because, of course, when she came back in she just moved that little towel right out of the way. I guess I expected for her to give me a pep talk or say something like...."OK, are you ready? count to 3" but no. She just started slathering me in wax, pressing the cotton strips to the hair and RIIIIPPPPP! off comes the hair! She had me keep one leg straight and the other one bent up to my right side. With no hesitation, her gloved fingers expertly moved all my sensitive parts (labia minora, inner lips, pouty puss.... whatever)out of the way and commenced to RIIIIPPPPing out more hair. We carried on normal conversation with me asking mundane questions like, "So how old are you children?" while trying not to look too panicked. Before I knew it she had finished with the front and said, "OK, flip over and put your butt in the air and lean on your elbows." So, like a waxing pro, i flipped right over and then wondered if it was appropriate to keep talking to her with my ass in her face...but she didn't seem to mind so we shopped tips of shopping, parenting and hair salons. 15 minutes after we started, I was done. Emily smeared antibiotic/antiseptic jelly over all the affected areas and left me to get dressed in private... which really, why bother at this point?
On a pain scale of 1 to 10, 1 being a papercut, 5 being a tattoo and ten being chilbirth, I would probably rate the Brazilian Bikini Wax a 2.5. It really wasn't too bad. And, since I'm not all that modest and have birthed three children... the embrassment factor was minimal. I cringed a little when I let her charge my credit card $60.00 but only time will tell if it was worth it.... I will see Emily again in about 4 weeks if I decide to do the follow up visit. I will post comment/updats over the next four weeks to let you know how things are "growing."
-Nisi, First Time Brazilian Waxee